Ok, this might be a long post so put the kettle on. Here it goes…
A few months ago, I read this blog post by Laura Gummerman about being an introvert and a mum and it really resonated with me, since I am both. (Funnily enough, I am reading a book about personality types at the Myers-Brigg test at the moment so it’s definitely on my mind.) This wasn’t a problem at all when we lived down south, since we had a great group of mums and babies we met through NCT and pregnancy yoga and we would meet with them a few times a a week, but it was all very casual and relaxed. However, when we moved, it all changed. I still had my mum pals over What’s App (thank god for our very active group chat!), but no IRL mum friends.
Having friends who are also mums of kids a similar age to yours is under rated. I didn’t think it would be that important before I became a mum. But then again you never know how much being a parent is going to change you until you become one. It is kinda a hard one to explain…
Anyway, when I read that blog post, we had just moved but I hadn’t made any new mum friends in the area, despite everyone saying how easy it is to make friends when you have a baby. Well, actually, I don’t think it is. It is much easier when you’re in antenatal classes as a group and you all have your babies around the same time. Now THAT is a bonding experience, and I made good friends that way. But once the mum and baby groups are set and your babies are a few months old (or a year in our case), I found it is more difficult to make connections. Especially as by then many mums have gone back to work. I often end up chatting to grandparents at the playground! It didn’t help that I had not found a job yet and also it was the school holidays, so many activities were not running.
But I am determined to make some mum friends in the area, so I am trying to get my introvert self out there by doing a few things. The first one was to download the Peanut app. Peanut is meant to be ‘like Tinder for mums’, which made me chuckle, but it lets you connect with other mums in the same area and with similarly aged children and with similar interests to you (say, the outdoors, shopping, coffee-guzzling or just wine 😂). The second thing I did was to join a local mum and baby exercise class, which was much needed!
In all honesty, I am too shy to contact people out of the blue through the app most of the time, but what I like is that you can find mums in your area that you might have had a conversation with at rhyme time or the park. It makes it less awkward to me, and at least you know they do similar activities to you.
You can download the Peanut app here and tell me what you think. I have to admit I love their branding 🤭